BANG GOES THE KNIGHTHOOD
Down In The Street Below
Press the doorbell and push the door
Climb the darkened stairwell to the second floor
She’ll be waiting for you in her dressing-gown
With the drink she poured you when she heard the sound
Watch the film, eat the food she cooked
Talk of how the film ain’t half as good as the book
Kiss her sleepy eyes closed and say ‘it’s time’
To slip beneath the shadows of the bedroom blinds
Well it’s always a pleasure and never a chore
But you just don’t know whether you’re doing it for the right reasons
It’s cold for the season down in the street below
Men and women go about their business
Picking up the last few things for Christmas
Trying not to step upon the pigeons
Praying to the gods of their religions
That they might be spared a little longer
That they might become a little stronger
Down in the street below
Everybody’s on a secret mission
Everybody’s got their own ambitions
They would tell you if they thought you’d listen
They would say how lately they’ve been wishing
For the chance to meet a handsome stranger
Lead a life of elegance and danger
Down in the street below
Down in the street below
Way up high in a phallic tower
You’re swimming in a tiny galaxy of stars
Knocking back mojitos at the cocktail bar
Talking ’bout burritos and conceptual art
Your armchair’s round and your glass is square
The clientele’s straight out of this month’s Vanity Fair
Well look around the place, something’s not quite right
Yours is the only face that you don’t recognize
Well it’s always a pleasure and never a chore
But you just don’t know whether you’re doing it for the right reasons
It’s cold for the season down in the street below
The Complete Banker
Can anyone lend me ten billion quid?
Why do you look so glum? Was it something I did?
So I caused a second great depression, what can I say
I guess I got a bit carried away
If I say I’m sorry will you give me the money?
You know me
The complete banker in a black Bentley
Sweet Samantha riding next to me
Oh how I hanker for the good old days
When I was free
The complete banker in my Armani
Before the rancour and disharmony
Well money makes the world go round
And round and down the drain
We went to war on the floor of the exchange
To all of us it was just a big game
But God I loved it, making a profit from somebody’s loss
I never knew exactly whose money it was
And I did not care as long as there was lots for me
The complete banker in a black Bentley
Sweet Samantha riding next to me
Oh how I hanker for the good old days
When I was free,
The complete banker in my Armani
Before the anger and the inquiries
Well money makes the world go round
And round and down the drain
We’ll learn the lessons, run tests and analyse
We’ll crunch the numbers cause the numbers never lie
Maybe this recession is a blessing in disguise
We can build a much much bigger bubble the next time
And leave the rest to clean our mess up
Well that’s just me
The complete banker in a black Bentley
Margaret Thatcher riding next to me
Oh how I hanker for the good old days
When I was free
I’m the complete banker
I’m a conscience-free malignant cancer on society
And one day you’ll let your guard down
And I’ll come round again
Neapolitan Girl
Through the rubble of the bombed out streets
Through the squalor and the poverty
Walks a proud Neapolitan girl
With a head of thick black curls
She doesn’t care ’bout right or wrong
Just about where the next meal’s coming from
Innocence can often be
Another one of war’s casualties
But innocence can be restored
With a visit to the Professore
For ten thousand lire he
Can find mislaid virginity
His dirty needle leaves a trail of scars
And keeps her at the peak of her sexual powers
She takes him riding on the 133
Through the city to the cemetery
Where the Neapolitan girls go
Down behind the headstones
Oh the quickening breath and muffled cries
As life and death become entwined
Now baby, just pretend you don’t see ‘em
Lusting in the mausoleum
Lola has a lover in the city bank
And Lola has a lover in the British ranks
Well Lola has them over in the middle of the day
Cause Lola makes the neighbours all jealous that way
She doesn’t care ’bout right or wrong
Just about where the next meal’s coming from
Neapolitan girl
Neapolitan girl
Bang Goes the Knighthood
Out of the station and through the arcade
Past the antique shops of Regent’s Parade
To an innocuous London address
A quick glance around and then down the wet steps
God only knows what keeps bringing me here
Gambling with everything that I hold dear
One careless word in establishment ears
And bang goes the knighthood, the wife and career
You make me feel
You make me feel something
And feeling something beats feeling nothing at all
And nothing at all is what I feel all the rest of the time
If someone sees
If someone hears something
I know it’s coming, the fear is making me ill
But then fear is part of the thrill
They taught me discipline at boarding school
The consequences of breaking the rules
They said ‘we’re just being cruel to be kind’
As they beat me to within an inch of my life
So chain me, restrain me and teach me to kneel
Bind me and grind me beneath your high heels
Crack goes the whip, and if someone should tell
Bang goes the knighthood as-well
At The Indie Disco
We go down to the indie disco every Thursday night
Dance to our favourite indie hits until the morning light
At the indie disco, the indie disco
At the indie disco, yeah
We’ve got a table in the corner that is always ours
Next to the poster of Morrissey with a bunch of flowers
We drink and talk ’bout stupid stuff
Then hit the floor for Tainted Love
You know I just can’t get enough
Of the indie disco, the indie disco
At the indie disco, yeah
Give us some Pixies and some Roses and some Valentines
Give us some Blur and some Cure and some Wannadies
And now we’re moving to the beat
And staring at each others feet
I wonder if she fancies me
At the indie disco, the indie disco
At the indie disco, yeah
And when it’s over and I’m freezing on the night-bus home
I think of her and I sing the words to my favourite song (Oh Yeah)
She makes my heart beat the same way
As at the start of Blue Monday
Always the last song that they play
At the indie disco, the indie disco
At the indie disco, yeah…
Have You Ever Been In Love
Have you ever started dancing in the middle of a shopping mall
Have you ever burst out laughing for no reason at all
Have you ever noticed the rhythms in the rain
And have you ever felt the ecstasy of pain
Have you ever been in love
Have you sung along to all the silly love-songs you hate
And have you had to pinch yourself to make sure you’re awake
Have you ever felt like you could float into the sky
Like the laws of physics simply don’t apply
Have you ever been in love
Have you ever met somebody who could see inside your head
Have you ever been so happy you’ve lain awake in bed
Have you ever figured out the meaning of life
Just by looking into someone else’s eyes
Have you ever been in love
Assume The Perpendicular
Slip on your Barber jacket, jump in my old MG
We’re off to the depths of Somerset to see what we can see see see
We don’t wanna drink the cider, we don’t wanna walk for miles
We just want to go to a stately home built in the Georgian style
I can’t abide a horizontal life
It’s time to rise, assume the perpendicular
Jump up and down, make complimentary sounds
And talk about nothing in particular
Crunch up the gravel driveway, gasp at the grand facade
Just for today we’re lords and ladies, oh what a gay charade!
Lavinia loves the lintels - Anna, the architraves
Ben’s impressed by the buttresses thrust up the chapel knave
I can’t abide a horizontal life
It’s time to rise, assume the perpendicular
Jump up and down, make funny little sounds
And talk about nothing in particular
We’ll walk the grounds by Capability Brown
Get lost for days inside the manicured maze
We’ll bump our heads jumping on a four-post bed
And we’ll ride for free
On the ladders round the walls of the circular library
I can’t abide a horizontal life
It’s time to rise, assume the perpendicular
Jump up and down, make wild ecstatic sounds
And talk about nothing in particular
Nothing in particular…
The Lost Art Of Conversation
Why all the distance in existence
Join the resistance
Come on, let’s start by talking tactics
With pepper-pots and matchsticks
Here’s how we practice the lost art of conversation
David Jason - Francis Bacon - Frank Lampard
It’s gonna take some concentration
But all the best things do
There’s a terrific neolithic tribe in the pacific
They’ve got no cars, no televisions
No money, no ambitions
Just some pigs and some chickens
And the lost art of conversation
The League of Nations - The English Patient - Joan Of Arc
It’s gonna take some imagination
But all the best things do
Don’t try this in public or they’ll think you’ve gone insane
And it won’t be long before the men in white coats come
To take you far away
We had a comrade, a brave comrade
He could talk for whole days
But then he tried to be a hero
Tried talking ’bout Jean Miro to commuters wearing earphones
He almost die for conversation
Hallucinations - Good Vibrations - Van Dyke Parks
Greyhound racing - Steeple chasing - The Reformation
Transubstantiation - Bram Stoker’s creation
The Land of the Thracians, and right back to the start
It’s gonna take some time and patience
But all the best things do
Don’t try this in public or they’ll think you’ve gone insane
And it won’t be long before the men in white coats come
To take you far away, far away
Well here they come
Island Life
Washing your face in the morning dew - island life
Gathering wood for the breakfast brew - island life
Watching the waves breaking on the shore
While cormorants circle up high
This is our island life
Sea and sun, earth and sky
Play all day, sleep all night
This is our island life - island life
Diving for pearls in the shallow sea - island life
Watching for ships from the tallest tree - island life
We can explore till the sun goes down
Then explore some more when we rise
This is our island life
Sea and sun, earth and sky
Play all day, sleep all night
This is our island life - island life
What yesterday was a distant dream
Has now been made real by the night
This is our island life
Sea and sun, earth and sky
Play all day, sleep all night
This is our island life - island life
When A Man Cries
When a child cries the tears rise quickly
Spill hot and prickly down the reddened cheeks
Just to leave as quickly as they came
And peace returns again
When a child cries you know about it
They scream and shout until the hurt is gone
Like a shower of rain that for a moment
Hides away the sun
But when a man cries it’s choked and throttled
It’s all been bottled up for far too long
And when at last the pressure cooker blows
It’s hard to stem the flow
When a man cries his body shakes
And his eyeballs ache
And his mind vibrates
But he doesn’t make a sound
Don’t wanna wake the house now
Well the reasons are vague and hard to put in words
Just a dull abstract ache, don’t wanna worry her
She would only ask what’s wrong and I’d try to say
Then she’d take all my pain and explain it away
But who can explain why a man cries
When a man cries he cries alone
And for just a moment he’s back at home
Cradled in his mother’s arms
Free from guilt and safe from harm
Can You Stand Upon One Leg
Can you stand upon one leg
It’s harder than you think
If you can do it without falling down
You can do just about anything
Go on, see if you can
See how long you can stand on one leg
Can you beat your dad at chess
It’s harder than you think
Sit him down at Christmas
Turn the TV off
Give him lots of chocolates and a drink
And he might give you a match
And when you’ve been duly dispatched he will laugh
Ha ha ha
And you’ll say, ‘one more game’
Can you write a silly song
It’s harder than you think
One that’s not too short
One that’s not too long
One that can make everybody sing
Go on, give it a try
You might do better than I
It’s just like trying to stand on one leg
Tell me can you tell a funny joke
One that makes you laugh out loud
One that makes the milk come out your nose
If you know a funny joke then tell it now…
…that’s not bad, I’m impressed
But there’s one final test
Can you hold a singing note for a stupidly long time
Well it’s my party piece so let’s make it a little harder
By starting it way up high
Come on, give it a go
Let’s see how long you can hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooold on to a note!
I Like
I like your nose, I like your hair
I like you clothed, I like you bare
I like your boots, your skirts and your blouses
I like your suits, your shirts and your trousers
I like your mild political stances
I like your wild spontaneous dances
I like the way you drive me insane, morning, noon and night
I like you cause you’re sexy
I like the sexy things you dress in
I like it when you’re sitting next to me whispering sexy things
I like you cause you like me
I like the poems that you write me
I like the pictures that you thoughtfully draw for me
They make me look all right
Oh yeah, I like, I like, I like
I like the way you make me laugh
I like your brain, both left and right half
I like the songs you sing when you’re bathing
I like your dog when he’s behaving
I like your car, you curse like a trooper
During a hard reversing manoeuvre
I like the way we kiss and we make up after a fight
I like you cause you’re sexy
I like the sexy things you dress in
I like it when you’re sitting next to me texting me sexy things
I like you cause you like me
I like the poems that you write me
I like the pictures that you thoughtfully draw for me
They make me look all right
Oh yeah, I like, I like, I like
I like you cause you’re crazy
I like the way you do whatever you like
It constantly amazes me, baby please stay with me tonight
Oh yeah, I like, I like, I like…
VICTORY FOR THE COMIC MUSE
To Die A Virgin
Well we’ve been going together
Since the eighth of November
And though it seems like forever
I very clearly remember
You told me on our first date
What you’d do on my birthday
Well hooray it’s my birthday!
And frankly, baby, I can’t wait.
I don’t want to die a virgin
The other day I discovered
A magazine of my brother’s
I read it under the covers
It got me all hot and bothered.
Now every time that I see you
Your uniform becomes see-through
You don’t know how much I need you
The “Handy Andys” I’ve been through
I don’t want to die a virgin
The pines and the cedars rejoice in his fall
How are you fallen from heaven?
Oh Hellel, star of the morning
With all the bombs and the bird-flu
We’re probably gonna be dead soon
And here we are in your bedroom
Oh did I tell you I love you I love you I love you
I can feel your heart beating
And your breathing increasing
Your folks are out for the evening
I really hope I’m not dreaming
I don’t want to die a virgin
Mother Dear
It was not that long ago it first occurred to me
That my mother was a person in her own right
Now I realize how very lucky I have been
And there, but for the grace of God, go I
Mother dear - she can see inside
Mother dear - and I’ve nowhere to hide
Mother dear - did I spoil your plans?
Mother dear - I do the best I can
When I was a teenager I really did believe
That my parents had adopted me
And the way I carried on they must have thought
They’d brought the wrong little baby home from maternity
I’d like to say I’m sorry but my…
Mother dear - she already knows
Mother dear - she’ll never let me go
Mother dear - kept me warm and safe
Mother dear - I’ll never lose my faith in mother dear
If I ever get arrested by the C.I.A.
Because they take me for a foreign spy
They wonít need no lie-detector, all they’ll have to do
Is make me look into my mother’s eyes
Mother dear - she can see inside
Mother dear - and I’ve nowhere to hide
Mother dear - kept me warm and safe
Mother dear - I’ll never lose my faith in mother dear
Mother dear - did I spoil your plans?
Mother dear - I do the best I can
Diva Lady
She’s a diva lady
She’s a hopeless case
She needs extra make-up
For her extra face
She’s a hopeless case
She’s a diva lady
She’s got special needs
She wants chocolate candy
But no blue ones please
She’s got special needs
She lives in a vacuum
She has no real home
Where did diva come from?
Where shall diva go?
She has no real home
She’s got thirty people
In her entourage
Just in case her ego
Needs a quick massage
She’s got a famous boyfriend
They go out in style
She makes him look hetero
And he helps her profile
She’s a diva lady
She looks down her nose
At the shoes I’m wearing
And my care-worn clothes
Such a pretty nose
A Lady Of A Certain Age
Back in the day you had been part of the smart set
You’d holidayed with kings, dined out with starlets
From London to New York, Cap Ferrat to Capri
In perfume by Chanel and clothes by Givenchy
You sipped camparis with David and Peter
At Noel’s parties by Lake Geneva
Scaling the dizzy heights of high society
Armed only with a cheque-book and a family tree
You chased the sun around the Cote d’Azur
Until the light of youth became obscured
And left you on your own and in the shade
An English lady of a certain age
And if a nice young man would buy you a drink
You’d say with a conspiratorial wink
“You wouldn’t think that I was seventy”
And he’d say,”no, you couldn’t be!”
You had to marry someone very very rich
So that you might be kept in the style to which
You had all of your life been accustomed to
But that the socialists had taxed away from you
You gave him children, a girl and a boy
To keep your sanity a nanny was employed
And when the time came they were sent away
Well that was simply what you did in those days
You chased the sun around the Cote d’Azur
Until the light of youth became obscured
And left you on your own and in the shade
An English lady of a certain age
And if a nice young man would buy you a drink
You’d say with a conspiratorial wink
“You wouldn’t think that I was sixty three”
And he’d say,”no, you couldn’t be!
Your son’s in stocks and bonds and lives back in Surrey
Flies down once in a while and leaves in a hurry
Your daughter never finished her finishing school
Married a strange young man of whom you don’t approve
Your husband’s hollow heart gave out one Christmas Day
He left the villa to his mistress in Marseilles
And so you come here to escape your little flat
Hoping someone will fill your glass and let you chat about how
You chased the sun around the Cote d’Azur
Until the light of youth became obscured
And left you all alone and in the shade
An English lady of a certain age
And if a nice young man would buy you a drink
You’d say with a conspiratorial wink
“You wouldn’t think that I was fifty three”
And he’d say,”no, you couldn’t be!
The Light Of Day
I found a photograph of you and me
Drinking sangria somewhere by the sea
There’s laughter in our eyes and dreams in our hearts
Before life waded in and tore it all apart
When there’s no more lies to hide behind
And no more tears to cry
I know we’ll be alright
‘Cause even though the skies above are cold and grey
I’m sure tomorrow we will see the light of day
I found some letters from a happier time
I smelled the scented pages and re-read the lines
Why must the summer always turn into the fall?
Why must we lose love to ever know love at all?
When there’s no more lies to hide behind
And no more tears to cry
I know we’ll be alright
‘Cause even though the skies above are cold and grey
I’m sure tomorrow we will see the light of day
The light of day shining through our window pane
Threesome (instrumental)
Party Fears Two
I’ll have a shower
And then phone my brother up
Within the hour
I’ll smash another cup
Please don’t start saying that
Or I’ll start believing you
If I start believing you
I’ll know that this party fears two
And what if this party fears two?
The alcohol loves you while turning you blue
View it from here
From closer to near
Awake me
Don’t turn around
I won’t have to look at you
And what’s not found
Is all that I see in you
My manners are failing me
I’m left feeling ugly
And you say it’s wonderful
To live with I never will
So what if this party fears two?
The alcohol loves you while turning you blue
View it from here
From closer to near
Awake me
I’m standing still
And you say I dress too well
Still standing still
I might but it’s hard to tell
Even a slight remark
Makes nonsense and turns to shark
Have I done something wrong?
What’s wrong’s the wrong that’s always in wrong
I’ll have a shower
And then phone my brother up
Within the hour
I’ll smash another cup
Arthur C.Clarke’s Mysterious World
Do you remember that old T.V. show
Arthur C. Clarke’s Mysterious World?
Well if I.T.V. make a new series
They ought to come take a look at my girl
I don’t understand her
She doesn’t make any sense to me
I don’t understand her
It’s like she’s speaking in Swahili.
Do you remember that girl in the early eighties
Allergic to everything
Everywhere that she went in her plastic tent
The doctors tried but they couldn’t begin
To even understand her
And it’s exactly the same for me
I don’t understand her
She is as deep as the Baltic Sea.
Well it’s no big deal, I’m not complaining
Sometimes things don’t need explaining
She’s my angel, that’s the main thing
And that is never changing.
She’s a mass of contradictions
A pick’n'mix of strange convictions
It can be a source of friction
But there are worse afflictions
Love doesn’t make distinctions.
Now to make matters worse she claims the universe
Is expanding like a balloon
But baby if it’s meant to be infinite
Then where is it expanding to?!
I don’t understand you
You just don’t make any sense to me
I don’t understand you
You are completely logic free
I don’t understand her, no no
She is uncharted territory
I don’t understand her
But she’s as lovely as she can be
The Plough
I packed up my suitcase and left the old farm
I promised my papa I’d come to no harm
And I went to the city where I was employed
In a firm of accountants as an office boy.
I fetched and I carried, I watched and I learned
And slowly but surely I rose through the firm.
But then I discovered my colleagues one day
Massaging the figures for personal gain
I said “I’ll not wallow in this house of shame”
I’ll plough my own furrow, I’ll go my own way.
Gravely I listened to Reverend McBride
Down at the mission house each Friday night.
Heaven’s salvation for those who know best,
Hell and damnation for all of the rest.
Try as I might I could not understand
Why The Almighty’s all-merciful hand
Should cast away those whose only mistake
Was never to know the Christian faith
The stars that we follow can lead us astray
I’ll plough my own furrow, I’ll go my own way
I fled from the capital’s bourgeois malaise
And trekked through the wilderness for fourteen days
‘Til I found the guerillas camped high in the hills
I asked Comrade Diaz whom I should kill.
I crept into town with a knife in my teeth
And entered the home of the Chief of Police
I stood at his bedside and raised up my blade
But then I looked to the crib where his little one lay
You murder tomorrow by killing today
I’ll plough my own furrow, I’ll go my own way.
Count Grassi’s Passage Over Piedmont
Below the Po rolls slow from Alps to Adriatic Sea
Blow old bellows, blow
Take us where you will
Padua, Genoa, Corsica, Catalonia, O Segovia
O unfathomable firmament.
That we should set a course between the two
Clinging only to our orb of blue and red
Like Romanovs to a Faberge egg
Push Sisyphus, push
Heave our sphere into the heavens.
If I’m to die then let it be in summertime
In a manner of my own choosing
To fall from a great height
On a warm July afternoon
Liverwurst, Battenburg, Emmenthall, Syllabub, Muscadet
Throw it all away
We need more height
O Newton, release this apple from its earthly shackles
And live to fight another day.
Go back from whence you came the swallows cry
You’ve corrupted and befouled the ground you walk upon
And now you come to poison the skies
Please friends, forgive this brief intrusion.
Snowball In Negative
Smoking my six-hundredth last cigarette
Out of the studio sky-light
Watching the ash as it rolls down the roof
Leaving a trail of grey-white
All through its short life it gives of itself
Giving and giving and slowly diminishing
Until there isn’t a crumb of it left
It no longer is, it’s a snowball in negative
Wandering home along Marlborough Road
I realize in amazement
That I have been, for how long I don’t know,
Avoiding the cracks in the pavement
All through this short life we give of ourselves
Giving and giving and slowly diminishing
Leaving a mark that will gradually fade
Ash in the breeze, snowballs in negative
ABSENT FRIENDS
Absent Friends
Absent Friends
Absent friends, here’s to them
And happy days, we thought that they would never end.
Here’s to absent friends.
Little Jean Seberg seemed
So full of life, but in those eyes such troubled dreams.
Poor little Jean.Woodbine Willie couldn’t rest until he’d
Given every bloke a final smoke before the killing.
Old Woodbine Willie.
Steve McQueen jumped the first one clean
But the great escape he’d tried to make was not to be.
Maybe next time Steve.
Laika flew through inky blue
‘Til Laika neared the atmosphere and Laika knew
Laika’s life was through.
Oscar Wilde was a lonely child.
He fought and won acceptance from the world.
They smiled, they laughed, they praised,
They drove poor Oscar to his grave.
Absent friends, here’s to them,
And happy days, we thought that they would never end,
But they always end.
Raise your glasses then to absent friends.
Sticks & Stones
You and I go together like the molar and the drill.
Flesh is weak but darling we know that the ego’s weaker still.I’ve been hung, drawn and quartered,
Slowly slaughtered like a goat,
By the tongue of a woman who just couldn’t let it go.
Sticks and stones may break my body but words can tear me apart.
So be careful what you tell me, spare a thought for my heart.
Broken bones fuse together, bruises never last for long,
But once they’re said words stay spoken
And hearts stay broken from that moment on.
Sticks and stones may break my body, but words can tear me apart.
So be careful what you tell me, spare a thought for my heart.
Leaving Today
So suddenly awake.
No light from yonder window breaks, no crowing cock,
Just my old clock, please make it stop.
I try to wrestle free,
But like the dew she clings to me,
“No way Jose, you don’t get away that easily”.
Leaving today, leaving today, leaving today.
“Release me let me go.
I love you more that you could know.
All I can do is promise to come home to you”.
I tip-toe from the bed
And put my head around the nursery door to say good-bye.
It breaks my heart every single time.
I’m leaving today, I’m leaving today, I’m leaving today.
I would stay if you asked me, so for God’s sake don’t ask me to stay.
My taxi has arrived. Good-bye sweet simple life, good-bye.
The city’s waking up.
Dreams fizzle out like raindrops racing down the glass.
They blur the street-lamps as we pass.
Come Home Billy Bird
William wakes with his clothes on.
The morning call has been and gone,
And he might not make the flight but he will try.
Bit by bit it comes back to him,
A bunch of Belgian business men
And a strange drinking game, oh God why?
Come home Billy Bird, international business traveller.
Come home Billy Bird.
He hails a cab but the driver sucks.
He drives so slowly and he talks so much
That it hurts Billy Bird’s aching brain.
He runs from the cab to the check-in desk.
She says, “no way??, but William begs on his knees,
“Please, please, please??. “Well OK??.
Come home Billy Bird, international business traveller.
Come home Billy Bird.
Drenched in sweat he finds his seat
And with the luggage squeezed down beneath his feet
He begins to think that things can’t get no worse.
But then a voice says, “bags that can’t be stowed
In the overhead locker must go below in the hold,
Please let go, thank-you sir??.
Come home Billy Bird, international business traveller.
Come home Billy Bird.
He runs on past the carousel
Screaming, “damn my luggage all to hell.
I can buy a new shirt and tie any day??.
He rides from the airport into town,
To the high-school football ground
Where his son has just begun his big football game.
Come home Billy Bird, international business traveller.
Come home Billy Bird.
My Imaginary Friend
Would you like to meet my little friend?
Don’t try to shake his hand he’s just pretend.
His name is Benjamin, that’s his name.
My Mamma says, “you’re insane,
Boy you really are the end,
You and your imaginary friend??.
Daddy drives the mobile library.
He works peripatetically.
He doesn’t get much time to play with us
So we just read and make up stuff.
And it drives him round the bend,
Me and my imaginary friend.
One day we’re gonna play hide and seek
And Ben will be up the creek,
Never to be seen again.
He’ll disappear the day that childhood ends
And reality descends.
I’ll never forget you my imaginary friend.
The Wreck of the Beautiful
When the Beautiful set sail back in 1970
She was state of the art, the flagship of our navy.
But the salt sea took its toll and the rust began to show,
And with a heavy heart we took her to the breaker’s yard.
I thought I heard her call, maybe I heard nothing at all.
I thought I heard her call from the wreck of the Beautiful.
But like the fattened cow can smell the butcher’s knife,
She knew where she was bound, a sad end to a proud life.
That’s when I heard her cry and the waves rose five miles high,
And the men who did not drown watched as the Beautiful went down.
I thought I heard her call, maybe I heard nothing at all.
I thought I heard her call from the wreck of the Beautiful.
Our Mutual Friend
No matter how I try I just can’t get her out of my mind
And when I sleep I visualise her.
I saw her in the pub. I met her later at the night-club.
A mutual friend introduced us.
We talked about the noise
And how it’s hard to hear your own voice
Above the beat and the sub-bass.
We talked and talked for hours, we talked in the back of our friend’s car
As we all went back to his place.
On our friend’s settee She told me that she really liked me
And I said “cool, the feeling’s mutual??.
We played old 45’s. I said “it’s like the soundtrack to our lives??
And she said “true, it’s not unusual??.
Then privately we danced
But couldn’t seem to keep our balance,
A drunken haze had come upon us.
We sank down to the floor and we sang
A song that I can’t sing any more,
And then we kissed and fell unconscious.
I woke up the next day all alone but for a headache.
I stumbled out to find the bathroom.
But all I found was her wrapped around another lover.
No longer then is he our mutual friend.
The Happy Goth
“The lonely road you choose to travel on, it must seem awfully long.
Innocence all gone,
It must be wrong to hide your lovely face away.
That music you play, I’m not saying it’s bad, it just seems terribly sad.
Is everything all right?
I’d like to think you’d tell me if something was wrong??.
Well her clothes are blacker than the blackest cloth
And her face is whiter than the snows of Hoth.
She wears Dr. Martens and a heavy cross,
But on the inside she’s a happy goth.
“Don’t worry Mum, don’t worry Dad.
The hours that I spend alone are the happiest I’ve ever had??.
That’s what she’d say if she ever spoke to you,
But it’s something she can never do.
‘Cos it’s only by herself that she’ll find out
What makes her different from the rest.
Well her clothes are blacker than the blackest cloth
And her face is whiter than the snows of Hoth.
She wears Dr. Martens and a heavy cross,
But on the inside she’s a happy goth.
Freedom Road
It’s early morning on I-19.
I ain’t got much for company,
A pick-up truck, a brown Volvo,
And a couple of jokers on the radio.
I wish that it could stay like this,
But soon I’ll have to put up with
The whole world and his Uncle Joe
Cluttering up my freedom road.
When I was a boy I’d fantasize
About the freedom road. I’d drive
A thousand miles before sundown,
Father a child in every town.
But a hundred thousand miles have passed
Between me and iconoclastic images
Of the freedom road.
I wanna shed this heavy load.
Well I’ve seen the power of the lightning storm,
I’ve seen the endless ears of corn,
I’ve seen the lakes at the break of day,
And that shit takes my breath away.
But if I were to even start
To tell them how it melts my heart,
Never more would my truck-stop friends
Look me in the eye again.
It’s early morning on I-19,
A dreamer’s waking from his dream,
A driver who has lost his way
Parks up his rig and walks away.
Charmed Life
When I hold you in my arms
And look back on my charmed life, my charmed life,
I hope, I hope if nothing more
That one day you’ll call your life a charmed life.
Well I’ve never really worried that much
About making lots of money and such
And I always seem to land upon my feet.
And though there’s been some difficult times
The good times were never far behind.
I’ve snatched all of my victories from the jaws of defeat.
When I hold you in my arms
And look back on my charmed life, my charmed life,
I hope, baby I hope if nothing more
That one day you’ll call your life a charmed life.
Well the course of true love never ran smooth.
They broke my heart and I broke theirs too,
And breaking up is so very hard to do.
But I knew I’d find the one,
And sure enough she came along,
And not long after that along came you.
Well sometimes this life is like being afloat
On a raging sea in a little row-boat,
Just trying not to be washed overboard.
But if you take your chances and you ride your luck,
And you never, never, never, never, never give up
Those waves will see you safely to a friendly shore.
When I hold you in my arms
I know that this is a charmed life.
A charmed life.
REGENERATION
Timestretched
There’s not enough hours in the day
To say all that I want to say
There’s not enough days in the week
And weeks go by quicker than drunks knock back liquor
There’s not enough weeks in the month
To do all that needs to be done
There’s not enough months in the year
And years disappear like the bubbles in my beer
Timestretched
There’s not enough lines on the stave
To capture the music I crave
There’s not enough strings to my bow
And even the barmen know extracts from Carmen
There’s not enough notes in this scale
It feels like I’m chasing my tail
There’s not enough beats in the bar
And bars get too busy with folks asking “is he…?”
Bad Ambassador
I wanna chill, I wanna sit real still
I wanna sleep like the dead on a bed of roses
Me and my lovely wife
We’re in the prime of life
I wanna feel real, I wanna free-wheel
I wanna steal the show from under their noses
I wanna get you off
Ain’t that enough?
I’m gonna abseil down my ivory tower
And buy myself a Jaguar
I’m a bad ambassador for that elusive place you’re searching for
I wanna show you so much more… but maybe some other time
I wanna play with the big boys
I wanna ride with the tough guys on a Japanese motorbike
I wanna hold your hand
Hey, what’s your favourite band?
I wanna look like they looked
I wanna shake like they shook, I wanna take what they took
I wanna get you high
Don’t ask me why
It’s just something I’ve got to do
I’ll try to make it up to you
I’m a bad ambassador for that elusive place you’re searching for
I wanna show you so much more… but maybe some other time
I’m not the Pope and I don’t wanna be the Archbishop of Canterbury
I’m a bad ambassador for that elusive place you’re searching for
I wanna show you so much more
Yeah I could show you so much more
But I’m a bad ambassador
Well, maybe some other time…
Perfect Lovesong
Give me your love
And I’ll give you the perfect lovesong
With a divine Beatles bassline
And a big old Beach Boys sound
I’ll match you pound for pound
Like heavy-weights in the final round
We’ll hold on to each other
So we don’t fall down
Give me a wink
And I’ll give you what I think you’re after
With just one kiss I will whisk you away
To where angels often tread
We’ll paint this planet red
We’ll stumble back to our hotel bed
And make love to each other
‘Til we’re half dead
Maybe now you can see
Just what you mean to me
Give me your love
And I’ll give you the perfect lovesong
Give me your word
That you’ll be true to me always come what may
Forever and a day
No matter what other people may say
We’ll hold on to each other
‘Til we’re old and grey
Note To Self
Monday
Restate my assumptions
Heaven and hell
Do not exist
Tuesday
Restate my assumptions
If you die you do so
At your own risk
Into the heart of darkness
Beyond the point of no return
Wednesday
Restate my assumptions
Beauty is not
The same thing as youth
Thursday
Restate my assumptions
Only one thing beautiful
That’s the truth
Into the heart of darkness
Beyond the point of no return
What the fuck is happening?
Where has everybody gone?
What the hell is going on?
There is nothing as frightening as being alone
Friday
Restate my assumptions
The writer writes for himself
Not for you
Saturday
Restate my assumptions
A song is not a song
Until it’s listened to
Lost Property
Postcards and letters
T-shirts and sweaters
Passports and Parkas
Mobiles and chargers
Two tennis rackets
Blue Rizla packets
A new sheep-skin jacket
I lost it all
All through my life there have been
Many rare and precious things
I have tried to call mine
But I just cannot seem
To keep hold of anything
For more than a short time
Possessions of a sentimental kind
They were mine, now they’re not
Gym-kits and trainers
Asthma inhalers
Silk-cuts and Bennies
Ten-packs and twenties
C-class narcotics
Antibiotics
The holes in my pockets
I lost it all
All that I’d like is to know
Just where do those lost things go?
When they slip from my hands
Then one night in a dream
I passed through a sheepskin screen
To a green, pleasant land
I found them all piled up into the sky
And I cried tears of joy
Eye Of The Needle
They say that you’ll hear him if you’re really listening
And pray for that feeling of grace
But that’s what I’m doing, why doesn’t he answer?
I’ve prayed ’til I’m blue in the face
The cars in the churchyard are shiny and German
Distinctly at odds with the theme of the sermon
And during communion I study the people
Threading themselves through the eye of the needle
I know that it’s wrong for the faithful to seek it
But sometimes I long for a sign, anything
Something to wake up the whole congregation
And finally make up my mind
The cars in the churchyard are shiny and German
Completely at odds with the theme of the sermon
And all through communion I stare at the people
Squeezing themselves through the eye of the needle
Love What You Do
Living isn’t easy
No need to make it harder
Stretch yourself until you snap
Ditch your superstitions
Lose your inhibitions
Tell them you’re not coming back
If you want it, you can have it
If you need it, go and get it
Whatever it is you’ve got to love it
Everybody’s running
Round and round in circles
What is it they’re trying to prove?
Exercise your freedom
Exorcise those demons
You have got to love what you do
If you want it, you can have it
If you need it, go and get it
Whatever it is you’ve got to love it
Dumb It Down
You’ve got a personality
We’ll throw you in the sea and watch you drown
Dumb it down
Your concentration span’s too long
It’s longer than this song, that’s not allowed
Dumb it down
You don’t need books to know what’s what
We’ll pile them up and burn them to the ground
Dumb it down
And if you say that we’re corrupt
We’ll round you up and run you out of town
Dumb it down
Down and down and down it goes
Where it stops nobody knows
And not a lot of people seem to care
Well it’s so crazy, it’s so great
We can all communicate
But no one’s saying anything out there
Is there anybody out there?
Intelligence is dangerous
A virus of the brain you pass around
Dumb it down
We’ll vaccinate each boy and girl
Lobotomise the world through sight and sound
Dumb it down
No one can tell you what to think
And if you think that’s true then you’re a clown
Dumb it down
‘Cause freedom’s wasted on the free
You just don’t see the beauty all around
Dumb it down
Down and down and down we slide
It’s too tricky to decide
Between channels one and sixty-three
‘Cause everything is mindless fluff
Like this world’s not dumb enough
Does anybody feel the same as me?
Is there anybody listening?
Mastermind
Every pupil in the classroom will answer the same if you ask them
Every mouth shout the message out as one
Every girl weeps like the willow, every boy cries into his pillow
Every tear disappears in the morning sun
You don’t need an indie song to figure out what’s going on
Tell me that I’m normal, tell me that I’m sane
Tell me that you feel this too
All the dreams that we have had are gonna prove that we’re not mad to you
Every nose is a vacuum cleaner in the loved-up London arena
Every eye flies a dollar sign for me
Every tongue will wag if you want it, every lung has a shadow on it
Every heart comes apart at the seams
You don’t need a mastermind to read between the long white lines
Tell me that I’m normal, tell me that I’m sane
Tell me that you feel this too
All the dreams that we have had are gonna prove that we’re not mad to you
Well we all need reassurance as we play life’s game of endurance
Like a nice cup of tea or a cigarette
But don’t lean too long on your crutches or you’ll fall straight into the clutches
Of those who see free expression as a threat
You don’t need a law degree to set your mind and spirit free
So tell me what the hell is normal and who the hell is sane?
And why the hell care anyway?
All the dreams that we have had are gonna prove that we’re all mad and that’s OK
Regeneration
Old worlds seen through new eyes
Just you and I and the sheltering sky
The battle is over but the war’s not yet won
It’s only just begun
We’ll walk the razor’s edge
The highest ledge of the worlds highest window
The first lap is finished but the race isn’t run
It’s only just begun
Where will we run to?
Where will we hide?
Where will we rest our heads tonight?
Where is the party?
And who will be there?
Angels or devils, we don’t care
We don’t care
New forms - new formulae
X plus Y equals new life
They’ll tell you it’s over, just tell them they’re wrong
‘Cause it’s only just…
It’s only just begun
The Beauty Regime
Beat stress and rebalance your life
Make those dreams come true
Impress all your colleagues and friends
With the brand new you
So many lives condemned for no need
‘Cause people don’t buy the right magazine
Take a look in the mirror and see
Exactly how worthless you are
In a rut? Can’t get out? Don’t know why?
It’s time to make that change
Cover up all the pain in your life
With our new product range
So please don’t feel blue - let us show you how
To talk yourself into a good mood right now
Feeling sad is no longer allowed
No matter how worthless you are
And if your life depresses you
Just live it through your favourite movie star
Beat stress and rebalance your life
All you need to do
Is forget all the useless advice
And live your life for you
Don’t let them sell you impossible dreams
Don’t be a slave to the beauty regime
Look again in the mirror and see
Exactly how perfect you are
FIN DE SIECLE
Generation Sex
Generation sex respects the rights of girls
Who want to take their clothes off
As long as we can all watch that’s o.k.
And generation sex elects the type of guys
You wouldn’t leave your kids with
And shouts”off with their heads” if they get laid
Lovers watch their backs as hacks in macs
Take snaps through telephoto lenses
Chase Mercedes Benz’ through the night
A mourning nation weeps and wails
But keeps the the sales of evil tabloids healthy
The poor protect the wealthy in this world
Generation sex injects the sperm of worms
Into the eggs of field-mice
So you can look real nice for the boys
And generation sex is me and you
And we should really all know better
It doesn’t really matter what you say
Thrillseeker
When you hang by a thread
Strange things go through your head
What was in that woodshed?
Will death be gentle?
“Better to live one day like a lion
Than a thousand sheepishly”
Say dead oriental
I’m a thrillseeker honey - I can’t help it
I would kill for that feeling now I’ve felt it
I’m a thrillseeker
If you live by the sword
You will reap your reward
Death by faulty rip-cord or loose karabiner
But it’s my absolute right
To kill myself if I like
And now it looks like I might have finally succeeded
And I don’t care
When they finally come
I’ll be stuck there like gum
Frying under the sun “eggs over easy”
But it’s my triumph of will
Just to stay alive ’til
They’ve spent several million trying to save me
Albeit vainly
I don’t want your money
I’m a thrillseeker honey - I can’t help it
I’d kill for that feeling now I’ve felt it
It’s the cruelest of hands but I’ve been dealt it
I can see it, I can feel it, I hear it
Here it comes……
Commuter Love
Freezing Monday morning
She is waiting for her train to come
I brush past her, smell her perfume
Watch her hair move as she turns to go
She doesn’t know I exist
I’m gonna keep it like this
I’m not gonna take any risks this time
She’s not like the others
With their papers and their headphones on
She reads novels by French authors with loose morals
She can do no wrong
I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed
I don’t wanna see her undressed
We can be prince and princess in my dream
And we’re dancing
Through the evening
‘Til the morning
She doesn’t know I exist
I’m gonna keep it like this
I’m not gonna take any risks this time
Sweden
I would like to live in Sweden
When my work is done
Where the snow lies crisp and even
‘Neath the midnight sun
Safe and clean and green and modern
Bright and breezy, free and easy
Sweden, Sweden, Sweden, in Sweden
I am gonna live in Sweden
Please don’t ask me why
For if I were to give a reason
It would be a lie
Tall and strong and blonde and blue eyed
Pure and healthy, very wealthy
Sweden, Sweden, Sweden, in Sweden
I’ll grow wings and fly to Sweden
When my time is come
Then at last my eyes shall see them
Heroes everyone
Ingmar Bergman
Henrik Ibsen
Karin Larsson
Nina Persson
Sweden, Sweden,Sweden
In Sweden
Eric The Gardener
Julius Caesar came, saw, conquered, went away
‘Cause it rained here all the time
Too many sniffs and colds
Got up his Roman nose
So he left it all behind for Eric the gardener to find
Eric the gardener
Eric the gardener will find Eric the gardener
Julius Caesar knew that when his life was through
Something of him would stay behind
Not in a Roman tomb or an Italian womb
But buried deep in English slime
For Eric the gardener to find
Eric the gardener
Eric the gardener will find Eric the gardener
Julius Caesar sleeps soundly beneath your feet
With the rest of humankind
Dig deep and dig some more
Dig to the planet’s core
Dig ’til you’ve gone out of your mind
But all you will ever find is Eric the gardener
All you can ever hope to find is Eric the gardener
National Express
Take the National Express when your life’s in a mess
It’ll make you smile
All human life is here
From the feeble old dear to the screaming child
From the student who knows that to have one of those
Would be suicide
To the family man
Manhandling the pram with paternal pride
And everybody sings ‘ba ba ba da……….’
We’re going where the air is free
On the National Express there’s a jolly hostess
Selling crisps and tea
She’l provide you with drinks and theatrical winks
For a sky-high fee
Mini-skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle
Back in ‘63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
But it’s hard to get by when your arse is the size
Of a small country
And everybody sings ‘ba ba ba da…..’
We’re going where the air is free
Tomorrow belongs to me
When you’re sad and feeling blue
With nothing better to do
Don’t just sit ther feeling stressed
Take a trip on the National Express
Life On Earth
Build your coffin of balsa wood
Spend all that you earn
When you go you are gone for good
Never to return
Always to thine own self be true
Not to fools like me
Who’ll change their minds
For the sake of rhyming schemes
Au revoir joi, bonjour tristesse
Good times come and go
Life owes nobody hapiness
Only pain and sorrow
So don’t rely on the starry skies
Screw the universe
You’d ought to try to live your life on Earth
So au revoir joi, bonjour tristesse
Good times come and they go
This life owes nobody happiness
Only pain and sorrow
So don’t rely on the starry skies
Screw the universe
You’d ought to try to live your life on earth
I’m gonna try to live my life on earth
The Certainty Of Chance
A butterfly flies through the forest rain
And turns the wind to the hurricane
I know that it will happen
‘Cause I believe in the certainty of chance
A schoolboy yawns, sits back and hits return
While round the world computers crash and burn
I know that it will happen
‘Cause I believe in the certainty of chance
And I believe
I can see it all so clearly now
You must go and I must set you free
‘Cause only that will bring you back to me
I know that it will happen
I’m sure that it must happen
Oh I know that it’s gonna happen
Because I believe in the certainty of chance
Here Comes The Flood
Here comes the flood
Rivers of mud, baby
Here comes the quake
Evacuate while you still can
Here comes the fire
Our funeral pyre, baby
Here comes the flood
Here comes the blood bath
Here comes the fly
Fifty foot high, baby
Here comes the war
More blood and gore
Than you can stand
Here comes the race
From outer space, baby
It’s all over
We’re all gonna die
If the good Lord had intended me to live in L.A. he’d given me a machine gun. Still, here I am, just another
worried little citizen of this modern-day Pompeii waiting for the melt-down, the show-down, the great American
close-down. When that fault-line that runs right through society’s fabric finally snaps and the whole damn thing
starts unravelling. Why watch the sports channel when you can watch C.N.N.? Ladies and Gentlemen, the
greatest race in history, the race to end all races, in fact the race to end history. In lane one - the San Andreas
Fault, in lane two - Global Recession, in three - El Nino, in four -Chemical War, lane five - Inter-Racial Conflict,
lane six - Auto Immune Deficiency Syndrome. On your marks. Get Set. Wait for it………. Go!
Here comes the flood
Rivers of blood, baby
Here comes the bomb
It wont be long
‘Til we’re all gone
Here comes the sun
Run baby run, baby
If you believe all that you read
You’ll know the end is nigh
We’re gonna die!!
Sunrise
I was born in Londonderry
I was born in Derry City too
Oh what a special child
To see such things and still to smile
I knew that there was something wrong
But I kept my head down and carried on
I grew up in Enniskillen
I grew up in Innis Kathleen too
Oh what a clever boy
To watch your hometown be destroyed
I knew that I would not stay long
So I kept my head down and carried on
Who cares where national borders lie?
Who cares whose laws you’re governed by?
Who cares what name you call a town?
Who’ll care when you’re six feet beneath the ground?
From the corner of my eye
A hint of blue in the black sky
A ray of hope, a beam of light
An end to thirty years of night
The church-bells ring, the children sing
“What is this strange and beautiful thing?”
It’s the sunrise
Can you see the sunrise?
I can see the sunrise
It’s the sunrising
A SHORT ALBUM ABOUT LOVE
In Pursuit of Happiness
Hey, I’m not the type
To say one thing and do another
And if it’s all right I’d kind
Of like to be your lover
‘Cos when you’re with me I can’t help but be
So desperately
Uncontrollably Happy!
And hey, I’m not the kind
To fall in love without good reason
And if that’s a crime
Then baby I’m committing high treason
‘Cos when you’re with me
I’m absolutely
And totally
Quite uncontrollably Happy!
And hey, I’m not so blind
That I can’t see where we’re all going
And it’s no fault of mine
If humankind reaps what it is sowing
Just as long as we are together
Forever
I’ll never be anything other than Happy!
Hey, don’t be suprised, if millions die in plague and murder
True happiness lies beyond your fries and happy burger
Everybody Knows (Except You)
Everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
I told the stars above
About the one I love
I told the morning sun
Yeah I’m telling everyone
I told my mum and dad
They seemed to understand
And I’ll get through to you
If it’s the last thing that I do
Everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
Everybody knows that I live for you
Everybody knows that I adore you
Everybody knows that it’s true, except you
I told all of my friends
Again and again and again
I drove them round the bend
So now you’re my only friend
I told the passers by
I made a small boy cry
And I’ll get through to you
If it’s the last thing that I do
‘Cos everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
I’m going crazy baby
What do I have to do?
You know I love you baby
Maybe you love me too
Everybody knows that I live for you
Everybody knows that I adore you
Everybody knows that it’s true, except you
Except you, except you, except you
How come everybody knows, except you?
Oh everybody knows that I love you
And everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
Someone
Someone I once knew
Told someone like you
“Love is just a word”
Now I’m not so sure that’s true
Someone made me see
How someone like me
Needn’t be so closed
Just ‘cos they once chose to be
I need to be someone’s somebody
Someone heard my call
When I was all at sea
Someone rescued me
When my life was all but through
Someone made me feel
Like someone really cares
I hardly even dare
To believe it’s real, it’s really true
I need to be somebody’s somebody
If…
If you were the road
I’d go all the way
If you were the night
I’d sleep in the day
If you were the day
I’d cry in the night
‘Cause you are the way
The truth and the light
If you were a tree
I could put my arms around you
And you could not complain
If you were a tree
I could carve my name into your side
And you would not cry,
‘Cos trees don’t cry
If you were a man
I would still love you
If you were a drink
I’d drink my fill of you
If you were attacked
I would kill for you
If your name was Jack
I’d change mine to Jill for you
If you were a horse
I’d clean the crap out of your stable
And never once complain
If you were a horse
I could ride you through the fields at dawn
Through the day until the day was gone
I could sing about you in my songs
As we rode away into the setting sun
If you were my little girl
I would find it hard to let you go
If you were my sister
I would find it doubly so
If you were a dog
I’d feed you scraps from off the table
Though my wife complains
If you were my dog
I am sure you’d like it better
Then you’d be my loyal four legged friend
You’d never have to think again
And we could be together till the end
If I Were You (I’d Be Through With Me)
If I were you I’d look at me
And fail to see the things I see in you
If I were you and if I were you
I wouldn’t let the shit you get
From me get the better of you
If I were you
Don’t you ever wonder why
I could never make you cry?
Well, if I were you I’d ride away
To a pasture new where I could graze
On the grass so succulent and sweet
If I were you
I’d be through with me
If I were you I wouldn’t need
To always read the magazines that I do
Huh, they make me blue!
So if I were you I’d make the break
Before I take my frustrations out on you
Just break on through
Don’t you ever, in your dreams
Take a lover and make her scream?
Well, if I were you I’d ride away
To a pasture new where I could graze
On the grass so succulent and sweet
If I were you
I’d be through with me
Well, if I were you I’d ride away
To a pasture new where I could graze
On the green, green grass
Of virgin country
I’d live real fast and die real young
You see if I were you I’d end my days
In a field of stupid sheep just grazing
The grass so succulent and sweet
If I were you
I’d be through with me
Timewatching
When I fall asleep
It could be forever
So I’ll never fall asleep again
When I fall apart
Put me back together
And my life will be complete
Maybe it’s tonight
Maybe tomorrow night
Next week
Next month
Next year
We’ve only time to fear
When I fall behind
In the quest for pleasure
I shall treasure this short time with you
We shall not be chained
We shall not be tethered
And we’ll never be unkind
Maybe it’s tonight
Maybe tomorrow night
Next week
Next month
Next year
We’ve only time to fear
If I fall in love
It will be forever
So I’ll never fall in love
But the moment I can feel that
You feel that way too
Is when I might fall in love with you
I’m All You Need
Don’t look a horse in the mouth
Don’t let a frog get you down
Dragging you round like a dog on a lead
I’m all you need
Baby I’m in love with you
And my love could go on and on
Maybe you could love me too
And our love could go on and on
So don’t look a horse in the mouth
Don’t let a frog get you down
Dragging you round like a dog on a lead
I’m all you need
Baby I’m in love with you
And my love could go on and on
Maybe you could love me too
And our love could go on and on
But don’t look a horse in the mouth
Don’t let a frog get you down
Dragging you round like a dog on a lead
I’m all you need
Baby I’m in love with you
And my love could go on and on
Maybe you could love me too
And our love could go on and on and on and on…
CASANOVA
Something For The Weekend
She said “There’s something in the woodshed
and I can hear it breathing
it’s such an eerie feeling, darling”
He said “There’s nothing in the woodshed
It’s your imagination
end of the conversation, darling”
Something in his heart told him to come clean
He was not who he claimed to be
Something in his genes told him to pretend
‘Twas something for the weekend
But she said “There’s something in the woodshed
I know because I saw it
I can’t simply ignore it, darling”
So he said “Now baby don’t be stupid
Get this into your sweet head
There ain’t nothing in the woodshed (except maybe some wood)”
Something in his heart told him to come clean
He was not who he claimed to be
Something in his jeans told him to pretend
‘Twas something for the weekend
“I’ll go all the way with you, if you’ll only do the same for me - go and see
If it’s nothing like you say
then you can have your wicked way with me”
He went down to the woodshed
They came down hard on his head
Gagged and bound and left for dead
When he woke she was gone with his car and all of his money
Becoming More Like Alfie
Once there was a time
when my mind lay on higher things
And once there was a time
I could find pretty words to sing
But now, well now I find
it saves time to say what you mean
I know it seems so unrefined
but it’s time to let off some steam
Oh come on!
Everybody knows that No means Yes
just like glasses come free on the N.H.S.
But the more I look through them the more I see
I’m becoming more like Alfie
Once there was a time
when a kind word could be enough
And once there was a time
I could blindfold myself with love
But not now - now I’m resigned
to the kind of life I had reserved
for other guys less smart than I
Y’know - the kind who will always end up with the girls
And besides
everybody knows that No means Yes
just like glasses come free on the N.H.S.
But the more I look through them the more I see
I’m becoming more like Alfie
Oh come on!
Middle-Class Heroes
I see oriental paper globes
hanging like decomposing cocoons
while exotic candles overload
the dusty air with their stale perfume
And I see lentils, beans, seaweed and rice
in jars on the windowsill
And it ain’t hardly enough to feed the mice
running behind the lines of allergy pills
All these things will come to pass
when heroes of the middle class
face up to their responsibilities
I see an Indian fertility God
he’s got thirty seven limbs to spare
And tasteless tie-dyed tablecloths
that double up as evening wear
And I see naked bodies twist and turn
on the futon of dreams fulfilled
But their three-year-old kid seems unconcerned
he’d rather swallow all those allergy pills
I see unspeakable vulgarity
institutionalised mediocrity
infinite tragedy
Rise up little souls - join the doomed army
Fight the good fight - wage the unwinnable war
Elegance against ignorance
Difference against indifference
Wit against shit
My words fly up to heaven, my thoughts remain below
Words said without feeling never to heaven go…
All these things will come to pass
when heroes of the middle-class
face up, repent, and pay the price
for accidentally creating life
An oversight for which they must atone
and sacrifice their own
In & Out Of Paris & London
It is a far far better thing that I do now than I have ever done before
It is a far far better place that I go to than I have ever known before
My slap ‘n’ tickle made her giggle, made her wiggle like a willow tree - so suggestively
So I suggested
She protested
I persisted till she said Well OK
and I said Wey-hey!
In or out - of one thing there can be no doubt
Out or in - this is not a sin - it’s not even original
and hey, we’re all individuals - so let the games begin
I fall in love with someone new practically every day but that’s OK
It’s just the price I pay for being a man (if that’s really what I am)
And I refuse to take it all too seriously
It’s such a strange activity far too peculiar to be taken any other way
Don’t wait until tomorrow - do it today
In out in out in out in out in out in out in out
Shake it all about
Charge
Ladysmith wants you forthwith to come to her relief
Burn your briefs you leave for France tonight
Carefully cut the straps of the booby-traps
and set the captives free
But don’t shoot ’til you see her big blue eyes
Then sound the charge breathe your final breath
and charge into the valley of death
Cannon to the left and cannon to the right
they’ll go bang bang bang all night
We’ll fight them on the beaches
yes, we’ll fill’m full of lead
fighting naked in the open air
We’ll fight them in the kitchen, in the bathroom
in the garden shed
fighting the good fight any-fighting-where
So sound the charge breathe your final breath
and charge into the valley of death
Cannon to the left and cannon to the right
They’ll go bang bang bang all night
There’ll be a cannon to the left and cannon to the right
They’ll go bang bang bang bang bang bang bang all night…
Baby baby, I love the way you talk sense to me
especially when you say ‘Neil, you got love’
I hear what you’re saying
I have in my hand a piece of paper that says
‘Let’s make lurve, not this phoney war-thang’
We goin’ over the top
But you’re so sexy when you’re angry, honey-chile
Roamin’ around in no man’s land
gettin’ caught in your barbed wire
Baby baby, gonna set your village on fire
CHARGE, I’m gonna hit you where it hurts
CHARGE, so sound the red alert!
There’ll be a cannon to the left…and cannon to the right
(The hills are alive with the sound of)
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
All night!
Songs Of Love
Pale, pubescent beasts, roam through the streets
And coffee-shops, their prey gather in herds
Of stiff knee-length skirts, and white ankle-socks
But while they search for a mate, my type hibernate
In bedrooms above, composing their songs of love
Young, uniform minds, in uniform lines
And uniform ties, run round with trousers on fire
And signs of desire, they cannot disguise,
While I try to find words, as light as the birds
That circle above, to put in my songs of love
Fate doesn’t hang, on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends, on the tone of your voice
So sing while you have time, let the sun shine down from above
And fill you with songs of love
Fate doesn’t hang, on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends, on the tone of your voice
So let’s sing while we still can, while the sun hangs high up above
Wonderful songs of love, beautiful songs of love
The Frog Princess
I met a girl, she was a frog princess
I guess I ought to make it clear
That I saw nothing through her see-through dress
until she whispered in my ear
You don’t really love me and I don’t really mind
’cause I don’t love anybody, that stuff is just a waste of time
Your place or mine?”
I met a girl, she was a complete mess
I should’ve left her well alone, but oh no, not me
I had to see if underneath that dress
her heart was really made of stone
I met a girl, she was a frog princess
and yes I do regret it now
But how was I to know that just one kiss
could turn my frog into a cow?
And now I’m rid of her I must confess
to thinking ’bout what might have been
And I can visualize my frog princess
beneath a shining guillotine
You don’t really love me and baby that it alright
’cause I don’t love anybody,
I come and go through people’s love lives
Your place or mine?
A Woman Of The World
When she was just a girl she became a woman of the world
Soon there wasn’t room enough for her
in between the bosoms of her family
She popped the cork, got on the Greyhound to New
York
Small-talked her way round just the sort
of playboys’ playground she’d once dreamed about
Maybe I love her, but I’m jealous of her
She’s a woman of the world
She’s a fake sure but she’s a real fake
On the make making up for lost time
Just you wait hey, give the girl a break
And a fifty dollar bill will see to that
That ain’t enough to feed the cat
Serve up the rats and super rats
Well they just get fatter while she fades away
Maybe I love her ’cause I’m jealous of her
She’s a woman of the world
Maybe I hate her ’cause I didn’t create her
It’s human nature girl
Maybe I’ll suffer just to be her lover
just to be part of her world
Maybe I need her, because I want to be her
baby can I be your girl?
Maybe I’ll kill her, just trying to thrill her
if she don’t kill me first
We’re making eye-contact
Oh those hypnotic eyes attract such philanthropic flies
That’s that, you cannot stop it so why the devil do you try?
Through A Long & Sleepless Night
Through a long and sleepless night
I thought upon the jury’s plight
If what is wrong can feel so right
then life’s no longer black and white
It’s four o’clock and all’s not well
in my private circle of hell
I contemplate my navel hair
and slowly slide into despair
This rut has fast become a trench
This smell has turned into the stench
of rotten dreams and stale ideals
The past is snapping at my heels
Oh Danny Boy the pipes are blocked
with bedtime blues and future shock
I know the best is yet to come
but does it always take this long?
I can put on the perfume, even wear the dress sometimes
But I’ll always be the bridegroom and never the bride
You deserve to be horse-whipped
But I’ve no horse, that joke’s so shit
And whips would only make it worse
Don’t tempt the lonely and perverse
The casualties of casual sex
The child of three with X-ray specs
The conman low in self esteem
The Casanova in your dreams
I’ll scream and scream and scream until
I’ve made myself critically ill
in hospital, in case you’re there
in uniform, intensive care
I know you’ll be the death of me
but what a cool death that would be
I’d rather die than be deprived
of Wonderbras and thunder thighs
I can put on the perfume, even wear the dress sometimes
But I’ll always be the bridegroom and never the bride
Bored of normality? why not go daft?
It’s easy to do if you try
Slide right back down that self-confident path
you’ve just so laboriously climbed
Pickle your liver and addle your brain
Live the Bohemian life
Die young and penniless somewhere in Spain
Then again you could try just to live your own life
In the way that you find most amusing
I DON’T REALLY CARE!
I can put on the perfume, even wear the dress sometimes
But I will always be the bridegroom and I will never be the bride
Never be the bride
Theme From Casanova
The Divine Comedy’s Casanova - a collection of songs for bass baritone and ensemble, inspired by the
writings of the eighteenth century Venetian gambler, eroticist and spy; and performed for us there by the
composer, Neil Hannon.
He was accompanied in that 1995 recording by a specially assembled group of young musicians, under the
baton of Dr. Joby Talbot. The program was devised by The Divine Comedy, and was produced in our London
studios by Darren Allison.
Now, as we’re running a little ahead of schedule, there’s just time for one extra item. So I’ll leave you
with the haunting strains of Theme From Casanova…
The Dogs And The Horses
Sing a happy song ’cause Spring does not last long
A flower blooms and then it’s gone
Summer follows fast, make hay while it lasts
Don’t ever dwell upon the past
For one day you are here, and the next you are gone
Every horse has its year and every dog its day, my son
So the only thing to feel sad about is
all the dogs and the horses you’ll have to outlive
They’ll be with you when you say good-bye
Then the fall from grace
The lines upon your face grow deeper almost every day
Days and weeks roll by and Winter nights draw nigh
and everything that lives must die
But as the curtains close and the last prayers are said
all my dogs and my horses appear round my bed
They have come to say one last goodbye
Goodbye…
PROMENADE
Bath
Time, like an ever-rolling stream, bears all its sons away;
They fly, forgotten, as a dream dies at the op’ning day.
Rub-a-dub-dub
It’s time for a scrub
So through clouds of steam
To a cracked and faded cream
Bath-tub wanders frail
Aphrodite, so pale
Pink and white
She is naked as sin
Wearing nothing but a grin
And a pin in her hair
Will she be drowned?
Found
With her hair tied behind
Shoulders back
And head inclined
To the sound of music
Playing above
Bathing her in love
But darkness and fear
Will disappear like the soap
When she opens her eyes.
She throws back her dormer windows
Morning light shows Ophelia raised
From her watery grave in a brave new world.
Going Downhill Fast
One butterfly spies
A glint in his eye
The birds sing
As he cycles by
Oh, why should he feel sad
This world ain’t so bad
And besides
Woe betide he who would frown
When natural beauty abounds
And now, with wheels spinning free
He’s picking up speed
Two butterflies
Tie knots in his stomach
They love it when he goes too fast
The wind whistles past
Vast
Oceans of air
That will mess up his hair
Though he no longer cares
Anymore for
Over-indulgence in vanities
Vacuous vice
Just once or twice
Thrice
Four times in five
We forget we’re alive
And neglect to remind ourselves
Wait,wait for me
Oh great Mercury!
As late as you may be,
Will you wait for me?
Three butterflies realise
When it’s time to depart
They have tickled his ribs
They have fluttered his heart
But the starting is easy
Compared to the stop
And the bottom is hard
When compared to the top
The Booklovers
“This book deals with epiphenomenalism, which has to do with consciousness as a mere accessory of
physiological processes whose presence or absence… makes no difference… whatever are you doing?”
Aphra Benn: Hello
Cervantes: Donkey
Daniel Defoe: To christen the day!
Samuel Richardson: Hello
Henry Fielding: Tittle-tattle Tittle-tattle…
Lawrence Sterne: Hello
Mary Wolstencraft: Vindicated!
Jane Austen: Here I am!
Sir Walter Scott: We’re all doomed!
Leo Tolstoy: Yes!
Honoré de Balzac: Oui…
Edgar Allen Poe: Aaaarrrggghhhh!
Charlotte Brontë: Hello…
Emily Brontë: Hello…
Anne Brontë: Hellooo..?
Nikolai Gogol: Vas chi
Gustav Flaubert: Oui
William Makepeace Thackeray: Call me ‘William Makepeace Thackeray’
Nathaniel Hawthorne: The letter ‘A’
Herman Melville: Ahoy there!
Charles Dickens: London is so beautiful this time of year…
Anthony Trollope: good-good-good-good evening!
Fyodor Dostoevsky: Here come the sleepers…
Mark Twain: I can’t even spell ‘Mississippi’!
George Eliot: George reads German
Emile Zola: J’accuse
Henry James: Howdy Miss Wharton!
Thomas Hardy: Ooo-arrr!
Joseph Conrad: I’m a bloody boring writer…
Katherine Mansfield: [cough cough]
Edith Wharton: Well hello, Mr James!
DH Lawrence: Never heard of it
EM Forster: Never heard of it!
Happy the man, and happy he alone who in all honesty can call today his own;
He who has life and strength enough to say ‘Yesterday’s dead & gone - I want to live today’
James Joyce: Hello there!
Virginia Woolf: I’m losing my mind!
Marcel Proust: Je me’en souviens plus
F Scott Fitzgerald: baa bababa baa
Ernest Hemingway: I forgot the….
Hermann Hesse: Oh es ist alle so häßlich
Evelyn Waugh: Whoooaarr!
William Faulkner: Tu connait William Faulkner?
Anaïs Nin: The strand of pearls
Ford Maddox Ford: Any colour, as long as it’s black!
Jean-Paul Sartre: Let’s go to the dome, Simone!
Simone de Beauvoir: C’est exact present
Albert Camus: The beach… the beach
Franz Kafka: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!
Thomas Mann: Mam
Graham Greene: Call me ‘pinky’, lovely
Jack Kerouac: Me car’s broken down…
William S Burroughs: Wowwww!
Happy the man, and happy he alone who in all honesty can call today his own;
He who has life and strength enough to say ‘Yesterday’s dead & gone - I want to live today’
Kingsley Amis: [cough]
Doris Lessing: I hate men!
Vladimir Nabokov: Hello, little girl…
William Golding: Achtung Busby!
JG Ballard: Instrument binnacle
Richard Brautigan: How are you doing?
Milan Kundera: I don’t do interviews
Ivy Compton Burnett: Hello…
Paul Theroux: Have a nice day!
Günter Grass: I’ve found snails!
Gore Vidal: Oh, it makes me mad!
John Updike: Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run…
Kazuro Ishiguro: Ah so, old chap!
Malcolm Bradbury: stroke John Steinbeck, stroke JD Salinger
Iain Banks: Too orangey for crows!
AS Byatt: Nine tenths of the law, you know…
Martin Amis: [burp]
Brett Easton Ellis: Aaaaarrrggghhh!
Umberto Eco: I don’t understand this either…
Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Mi casa es su casa
Roddy Doyle: ha ha ha!
Salman Rushdie: Names will live forever…
A Seafood Song
“Who’ll have a fishy
On a little dishy?
Who will have a fishy
When the boat comes…”
And then he says
“With our glasses both raised in a toast
Let’s sing for those in peril on the sea
Who cater ceaselessly
To thy every wish
With every fish
As fresh as fish can be
You see, I’m into my oysters
My king prawns and caviar
No matter how far away they are
I’ll be there!”
And then she says,
“Now with our glasses both raised in this toast
Let’s sing for those in peril on the sea
Who labour tirelessly
In their tiny boats
Off John O’ Groats
Their socks soaked for me
You see, I do like my lobster
My hake, skate and rainbow trout
And if there’s a fishy smell about
I’ll be there! And then
And then we’ll sing for those in peril on the sea…
Don’t be frightened
Don’t be scared
Chop off their heads
And little legs
Then peel away the shell
And open up your senses to the smell
The sound and colour
Touch and taste
Of crab, cod, clams and kippers
Scampi, squid, sole, shark and scallop
Winkles, whelks, whale and whiting
Seaweed, swordfish, sardines and sea urchin
Haddock, halibut, herrings and eel
Cockles, mussels, mackerel and veal
Pilchard, plankton, St Peter’s fish and plaice
Octopussy jellyfishy
And dolphin’s an aquired taste
“Who will have a fishy
On a little dishy?
I will have a fishy
When the boat comes in…”
Geronimo
While they have been eating
The rain has started falling,
Gradually gathering in strength;
What began a drizzle
Has now become torrential,
And doesn’t look like coming to an end.
The two bedraggled figures
That huddle in the doorway,
With nothing vaguely waterproof to wear,
Are now secretly wishing
They’d listened to their mothers
When being told to always be prepared.
Screaming
‘Geronimo!’,
They run for it down the road;
With an arm around her waist
He leads her to a place
He knows.
Soaked through, but happy,
They squelch up to the landing;
The room before them
Makes a welcome sight.
The coal fire is throwing
Strange shapes upon the hearthrug,
And crying out to be knelt down beside.
She pulls off her jumper
And flings it in the corner;
He picks it up and hangs it on a chair.
She puts on a record
And sings into her coffee;
He puts a blanket round her,
Sits her down
And dries her beautiful hair.
Don’t Look Down
“Birds and planes go
Through the rainbow
Every day though
You simply refuse
Old-fashioned Ferris Wheels
Are no big deal
They’re just big wheels with chairs
So don’t be scared
Just set yourself free”
She tells me it’s alright
To open up my eyes
She holds onto my hand
And the clouds float by
The couple in the car below
They wave to us and say hello
I think they understand
The way we’re feeling
I don’t need to say ‘I love you’
When we’re floating
So far up above
Everyone else’s lives
Are intertwined
With yours and mine
I hope
They find the joy
That we have found
She tells me it’s alright
To open up my eyes
She holds onto my hand
And the clouds race by
The couple in the car above
I suppose they think
That we’re in love
I think they might be right
And without warning when we’re almost at the top
The wheel that turns us all comes to a sudden stop.
The wind that’s blown us dies a quick and painless death
The air gets clammy and we hold each other’s breath
We get the feeling that we’re not alone in this
And then a God who really ought not to exist
Sticks out a great big hand
And grabs me by the wrist
And asks me “why?” and I say
“Well God, it’s like this
It may be arrogance
Or just appalling taste
But I’d rather use my pain than let it all go to waste
On some old god who tells me what I want to hear
As if I cannot tell obedience from fear
I want to take my pleasures where and how I will,
Be they disgraceful or distasteful or distilled
And to be frank I find that life has more appeal
Without a driver who’s asleep behind the wheel”
Then God decides that he has taken quite enough
Of all this atheistic tosh I’m spouting off
And so he calls upon his favourite angel choir
To sing of times when men were filled with christian fire
But over-zealous angels flap their wings too fast
And cause the wind to blow and turn the wheel at last
And soon my feet are safely back on solid ground
And then I hear a voice say
“Don’t look down!”.
When The Lights Go Out All Over Europe
Twilight turns from amethyst
To deep and deeper blue
We’ve got an hour or two
Before it’s time to go
Let’s go see a movie show
Jeanne can’t choose
Between the two
‘Cos Jules is hip
And Jim is cool
And so they live together
With the trees and birds
And little girls
Who play upon
Poor Jean-Claude’s nerves
Till finally
He strokes Claire’s knee
And when she asks
Of his ambition
Jean-Pierre replies
“My mission
Is to become eternal
And to die…”
Heaven knows the reason why…
When the lights go out
All over Europe
I forget about old Hollywood,
‘Cos Doris Day could never
Make me cheer up
Quite the way those French girls always could
Jean Seberg: Et puisque je suis mechante avec toi c’est la preuve que je ne suis pas amoureuse de toi
Jean Paul Belmondo: On dit qu’il n’y a pas d’amour heureux
Jean Seberg: Si je t’aimais… oh c’est trop complicé
Jean Paul Belmondo: Au contraire, il n’y a pas d’amour malheureux
Jean Seberg: Je veux que les gens s’occupant pas de moi et puis je suis independente… Peut etre que tu
m’aimes?
Jean Paul Belmondo: C’est ce que lu crois, mais tu ne l’ai pas
Jean Seberg: C’est pour ca que je t’ai denonce
Jean Paul Belmondo: Je te suis superieur
Jean Seberg: Maintenant tu es force de partir
Jean Paul Belmondo: Tu es single, c’est lamentable comme raisonnment…
When the lights go out
All over Europe
I forget about old MGM
‘Cos Paramount
Was never Universal
And Warners went out
Way back when
Those lights go out
All over Europe
I forget about old Hollywood,
‘Cos Doris Day could never
Make me cheer up
Quite the way those French girls
Always could.
The Summerhouse
Do you remember
The way it used to be
June to September
In a cottage by the sea
Distant cousins, local kids
We climbed every tree together
And it never ever rained
Till we climbed back on the train
That would take us so far away
From the village and the bay
And the summerhouse
Where we found new games to play
Do you remember
Sunday lunch on the lawn
Daring escapes at midnight
And costumeless bathes at dawn.
You were only nine years old
And I was barely ten
It’s kind of weird to be back here again
Do you remember
The summerhouse…?
Neptune’s Daughter
When the last course has been consumed
They withdraw to the drawing room
Where the Schubert she plays with style
Keeps her friends happy for the while
But the memories are a burden,
So she draws back both the curtains
Stepping out into the night
As the glow from the house recedes
And their voices blend with the breeze
She is free to be who she will
Free to skip barefoot down the hill
Maybe she is Neptune’s daughter
For she’s drawn towards the water
Stepping out into the night
The water cold against her skin
Conceals a multitude of sins
And laughing like a little girl
She enters an enchanted world
Where seaweed girls with silver tails
Play games upon the backs of whales
They want her to come home with them
They grab her legs and drag her
Down again, down again
Into the sea he strides
And takes her in his arms
And he carries her back to shore
A Drinking Song
Back at the house a bottle is found
And opened in honour
Of those who have drowned
While we who have not are stricken with guilt
And dutifully see
That not one drop is spilt
We’re drinking to life we’re drinking to death
We’re drinking ’til none of our
Livers are left
We’re wending our way down to the spirit store
We’ll drink till we just
Can’t drink anymore
Raise your glasses high
Drink the cellar dry
Well, bloody my nose
And blacken my eye
If it ain’t some young Turk
In search of a fight
And chanticleer’s chest
Is sagging with pride
For honour has yet
To be satisfied
Well, Heaven be thanked
We live in an age
When no man need bother
Except on the stage
With “Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori”
And definitely not tonight
I can still remember
When I was just a kid
I was free to do what I wanted to
But I never, ever did
So now with years of discretion reached
May we not forget
“Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité”
For there’s life in the Old World yet!
There’ll always be an England
An Ireland and a France
A Liechtenstein and Finland
And we have only one chance
Earnest young man with an unhealthy tan
Puts a drink in my hand and says
“I understand
You’re in search of the place
To continue the chase of the heavenly taste
I suggest in that case you all come with me
To my place by the sea where the glasses shall be
Overflowing with free alcoholic delights
And free love if you like for what point has this life
If you can’t realise your dreams?”
Oh, raise your glasses high
And drink the town dry
We’ll drink beyond
The boundaries of sense
We’ll drink ’til we start to see
Lovely pink elephants
Inside our heads, inside our beds
Inside the threads of our pyjama legs
So don’t shoot til you see
The reds of our eyes
And an army of elephants
Marching behind
From the day I was born
Till the night I will die
All my lovers will be pink
And elephantine
Ten Seconds To Midnight
Ten: Apes turn into men
And grapes turn into wine
How we made it to nine
I’ll never know
Eight: Man looks for a mate
But fate plays cruel tricks
And seven turns to six
Still he’s alone
Along comes number five
Eureka, I’m alive
I think, therefore, I am a lucky man
Three: From this balcony
The two of us can see
The house where we first met
One wet Sunday…
Tonight We Fly
Tonight we fly
Over the houses
The streets and the trees
Over the dogs down below
They’ll bark at our shadows
As we float by on the breeze
Tonight we fly
Over the chimney tops
Skylights and slates -
Looking into all your lives
And wondering why
Happiness is so hard to find
Over the doctor, over the soldier
Over the farmer, over the poacher
Over the preacher, over the gambler
Over the teacher, over the rambler
Over the lawyer, over the dancer
Over the voyeur,over the builder and the destroyer,
Over the hills and far away
Tonight we fly
Over the mountains
The beach and the sea
Over the friends that we’ve known
And those that we now know
And those who we’ve yet to meet
And when we die
Oh, will we be
That disappointed
Or sad
If heaven doesn’t exist
What will we have missed
This life is the best we’ve ever had
LIBERATION
Festive Road
An ordinary day down on Festive Road
The children will play and never will know
That when Mr Benn of No.52
Walks in through that door peculiar events will ensue
The shopkeeper peers through spectacles round
As Benn wanders in and shuts out the town
The shopkeeper wears his customary grin
‘Cause he knows when they go to try on his clothes
Each fantasy chosen begin…
Death Of A Supernaturalist
“My father says there’s only one perfect view -
and that’s the view of the sky over our heads”
“I expect your father has been reading Dante”
See my solitude, where once was truth now only doubt
Touch my tortured skin, torn from within and from without
Kiss my blistered lips, my fingertips frost-bitten and grey
Heal my wound within, and watch the dead skin fall away
See what can’t be seen, between the table and the chair
Touch what can’t be touched, The National Trust don’t own the air
Kiss what can’t be kissed, this is the risk we have to take
Heal what can’t be healed, and feel the dead skin fall away
Only you and I know exactly how it feels
To unblinker a narrow mind
And by doing so reveal the obscurity of life
The intensity of dreams
Only you and I have realised exactly what it means
See the infant sun, whose time has come to climb the mist
Touch the autumn sky, burned by the supernaturalist
Kiss the purest lips, the morning slips into the day
Rising from the bed, we feel our dead skin fall away
Bernice Bobs Her Hair
Bernice bobs her hair in the barber’s in the square
All her new-found friends are there to see it done
Bernice bobs her hair she’s been driven to despair
‘Cause her cousin doesn’t care about anyone
Her hair was long, her hair was dark
Her hair fell down her back
And now it lies upon the floor
Bernice runs out the door
Marjorie had told her what to wear to the parties
Marjorie had told her what to say to the boys
Now Marjorie was jealous of her social advances
And presented her with this choice
“Bernice, bob your hair
You’ve persistently declared this intention
Do you dare to disagree?”
So Bernice bobs her hair and is instantly ensnared
In a trap so well prepared by Marjorie
Her hair was long, her hair was dark
Her hair fell down her back
The mirror tells of her mistake
Her heart is fit to break
So when it’s dark and her cousin sleeps
Into the room she creeps
Marjorie’s curls come down like rain
Bernice runs for her train
I Was Born Yesterday
I… I was born yesterday
And I believe all that you say
I have no choice
I must obey you
Is this the first or the second day
Of the rest of my life
Well hey
Why should I care either way
If what you say is true?
Saturday morning, 18th of December
I cannot remember
The last time that I saw such a young ballerina
In love with the loveless
In tune with a tuneless old upright piano
Standing en pointe
Going through each position with gentle precision
She measures each movement
Her classical features and elegant waistline
Are going to waste while she pleases her parents
What if they die on the road to Rathmines
Where a dog in two minds times his run to perfection
An orphan at last,
She’d be sick in the loo-bowl
Then go to the funeral and cry by the graveside
And then sleep with the first man she sees
And she’d catch some disease
Which she would give to her doctor
She’d cook her own breakfast, and she’d cook his as well
And both get on swell
Even though he was married
You are a part of me
I am a part of you
Why should I let you walk all over me?
All over me
Your Daddy’s Car
We took your Daddy’s car
And drove it to the sea
We fooled around for hours
And then when we got tired and it got dark
We found a place to park
And we watched the sun set fire to the sea
Can you feel the sadness in our love?
It’s the only kind we’re worthy of
Can you feel the madness in our hearts
As the key turns and the engine starts?
We took your Daddy’s car
And drove it into town
We steamed into a bar
And we bought the biggest bottle of champagne
And driving through the rain we sang
‘God bless this car, and all who sail in her!’
We took your Daddy’s car
And wrapped it round a tree
We didn’t know what for
We didn’t feel like driving any more
It was so good we got bored
And we are driving from the day we are born
Europop
Hello
What would you like to know?
What would you like to hear?
What if I just disappear inside myself?
Hello
What would you like to know?
Who would you like to see?
Who would you like me to be if not myself?
And the Europop (pop) makes me dizzy
And I just can’t stop (stop) ’til it’s finished
And I don’t know what (what) you find funny
‘Bout the Europop and the love of money
Hello
Where is it cool to go?
When is it cool to leave?
What is it cool to breathe inside myself?
Hello
Don’t tell me what I already know
Don’t show me what I’ve already seen
Don’t take me where I’ve already been inside myself
Financial gain is a very pleasant thing
But the transitory pleasure that it brings
Counts for nothing
So
What is there left to know?
What is there left to say?
Nothing
And I thank God that you’re aware
Oh thank God that you’re aware
Of the earth and of the air
And of the girls making like they don’t care
But they are blessed and you are cursed
With the conscience of a universe
Of the mind and of the soul
And reduction science digging itself a hole
And I thank God that you’re aware
Oh thank your God that you’re aware
It’s taken time but I’ll think you’ll find
That everything is alright
Timewatching
When I fall asleep it could be forever
So I’ll never fall asleep again
When I fall apart put me back together
And my life will be complete
Maybe it’s tonight
Maybe tomorrow night
Next week, next month, next year
We’ve only time to fear
When I fall behind in the quest for pleasure
I shall treasure this short time with you
We shall not be chained
We shall not be tethered
And we’ll never be unkind
Maybe it’s tonight
Maybe tomorrow night
Next week, next month, next year
We’ve only time to fear
If I fall in love it could be forever
So I’ll never fall in love
But the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I might fall in love with you, fall in love with you
The Pop Singer’s Fear Of The Pollen Count
Are you ready?
OK let’s do it 1, 2, 3, 4 Woo, ah ha, yeah
ba ba da ba da ba da ba da oh yeah
Laugh at the tears you’re crying
Smile while your head explodes
Y’don’t have to take this lying down
So blow your nose baby
And just get your fingers clicking
To the rhythm and the rhyme
Otherwise you’ll just be kicking around
And that’s a crime
How can you talk that way on such a lovely day?
When sunshine comes your way it’s time to make some hay
I fall for this season every time
When it’s hot and everybody smiles
I can’t help myself
I’m in love with the summertime
Even when I get hay-fever I find
I may sneeze but I don’t really mind
As long as I’m in love with the summertime
Ah, stop your belly-aching
We all know what it’s like
There ain’t a pill I haven’t taken I guess
But that’s alright baby
‘Cause your Daddy’s car is waiting
To take us to the sea
She feels like celebrating life
And so should we
How can you talk that way on such a lovely day?
When sunshine comes your way it’s time to make some hay
I fall for this season every time
When it’s hot and everybody smiles
I can’t help myself
I’m in love with the summertime
Even when I get hay-fever I find
I may sneeze but I don’t really mind
As long as I’m in love with the summertime
CLAP YOUR HANDS!
Queen of the South
Please don’t look at me that way
You’ll only make me want to say
Something I will regret
You are April you are May
What a stupid thing to say
Just forgive me and forget
That I ever opened my mouth
And let it all come out, let it all flood out
I am worried for your health
Put something warm around yourself
Don’t let your feet get wet
I’m in love and I’m in pain
If I say something stupid again
Oh just forgive me and forget
That I ever opened my mouth
And let it all come out
Let it all flood out
Queen of the South
She has opened my mouth
And let it all come out, let it all flood out
Something is getting in the way
What it is I cannot say
I wish we had never met
Victoria Falls
I don’t know where I am
Who’s that boy you’re leaning on
(Victoria ceases to care)
You’re not the only one
(Virginia creeps through her hair)
Summer evening, summer sun
(Virago will publish her diaries when she’s dead)
To the world
(Unlocking the dreams in her head)
And the world is blind
(Unstable unhinged and unfed)
She’ll wed the summertime
(Unable to answer the questions of her life)
I don’t believe you, I don’t believe
I don’t really need to, I don’t really need Victoria
I won’t let Victoria fall
When the night has come and gone
(His ghostly perfection remains)
Melting in the morning sun
(His pale saint complexion unchanged)
Lovers go and lovers come
(And some stay for longer but never long enough)
His shadow lingers on
(Victoria ceases to care)
His shadow fades like a pop song
(Virginia creeps through her hair)
Death to the supernatural one
(Virago will publish the story of her life)
Queen of the South
I don’t believe you, I don’t believe
I don’t really need to, I don’t really need Victoria
I won’t let Victoria fall
I don’t defend you (I don’t defend you)
I don’t recommend you but (I don’t recommend Victoria)
I won’t let Victoria fall away (Victoria)
Three Sisters
This Autumn breeze shall strip the trees
And freeze me to the bone
Why must these three sisters tease
Their lonely brother so?
Knowledge is a curse
But ignorance is worse I fear
Would you agree my dear?
I have watched you grow
From the same seed as my own shall grow
And they will never know how
How this autumn breeze shall strip the trees
And freeze me to the bone
Why must these three sisters tease
Their lonely brother so?
I don’t know I don’t know
Pleasure is a sin
And abstinence shall win this day
And that’s the way it’s gonna stay
Black Parisian lace
Your salvation - my disgrace
My God where did you go wrong?
I don’t know if I can stop my eyes
From drifting slowly over holy terrors of the soul
No self control
That Autumn chill is with me still
Lucy
I travelled among unknown men
In lands beyond the sea;
Nor, England did I know till then
What love I bore to thee.
‘Tis past, that melancholy dream!
Nor will I quit thy shore
A second time; for I still seem
To love thee more and more.
Among thy mountains did I feel
The joy of my desire;
And she I cherished turned her wheel
Beside an English fire.
By mornings showed, by nights concealed
The bowers where Lucy played;
And thine too is the last green field
That Lucy’s eye surveyed.
She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
A Maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love:
A violet by a mossy stone
Half hidden from the eye
Fair as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky.
She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave and, oh
The difference to me
A slumber did my spirit seal;
I had no human fears.
She seemed a thing that could not feel
The touch of earthly eyes.
No motion has she now, no force;
She neither hears nor sees;
Rolled round in earth’s diurnal course,
With rocks, and stones, and trees.
A SECRET HISTORY - THE BEST OF
National Express
Take the National Express when your life’s in a mess
It’ll make you smile
All human life is here
From the feeble old dear to the screaming child
From the student who knows that to have one of those
Would be suicide
To the family man
Manhandling the pram with paternal pride
And everybody sings ‘ba ba ba da……….’
We’re going where the air is free
On the National Express there’s a jolly hostess
Selling crisps and tea
She’l provide you with drinks and theatrical winks
For a sky-high fee
Mini-skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle
Back in ‘63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
But it’s hard to get by when your arse is the size
Of a small country
And everybody sings ‘ba ba ba da…..’
We’re going where the air is free
Tomorrow belongs to me
When you’re sad and feeling blue
With nothing better to do
Don’t just sit ther feeling stressed
Take a trip on the National Express
Something For The Weekend
She said “There’s something in the woodshed
and I can hear it breathing
it’s such an eerie feeling, darling”
He said “There’s nothing in the woodshed
It’s your imagination
end of the conversation, darling”
Something in his heart told him to come clean
He was not who he claimed to be
Something in his genes told him to pretend
‘Twas something for the weekend
But she said “There’s something in the woodshed
I know because I saw it
I can’t simply ignore it, darling”
So he said “Now baby don’t be stupid
Get this into your sweet head
There ain’t nothing in the woodshed (except maybe some wood)”
Something in his heart told him to come clean
He was not who he claimed to be
Something in his jeans told him to pretend
‘Twas something for the weekend
“I’ll go all the way with you, if you’ll only do the same for me - go and see
If it’s nothing like you say
then you can have your wicked way with me”
He went down to the woodshed
They came down hard on his head
Gagged and bound and left for dead
When he woke she was gone with his car and all of his money
Everybody Knows (Except You)
Everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
I told the stars above
About the one I love
I told the morning sun
Yeah I’m telling everyone
I told my mum and dad
They seemed to understand
And I’ll get through to you
If it’s the last thing that I do
Everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
Everybody knows that I live for you
Everybody knows that I adore you
Everybody knows that it’s true, except you
I told all of my friends
Again and again and again
I drove them round the bend
So now you’re my only friend
I told the passers by
I made a small boy cry
And I’ll get through to you
If it’s the last thing that I do
‘Cos everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
I’m going crazy baby
What do I have to do?
You know I love you baby
Maybe you love me too
Everybody knows that I live for you
Everybody knows that I adore you
Everybody knows that it’s true, except you
Except you, except you, except you
How come everybody knows, except you?
Oh everybody knows that I love you
And everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
Generation Sex
Generation sex respects the rights of girls
Who want to take their clothes off
As long as we can all watch that’s o.k.
And generation sex elects the type of guys
You wouldn’t leave your kids with
And shouts “off with their heads” if they get laid
Lovers watch their backs as hacks in macs
Take snaps through telephoto lenses
Chase Mercedes Benz’ through the night
A mourning nation weeps and wails
But keeps the the sales of evil tabloids healthy
The poor protect the wealthy in this world
Generation sex injects the sperm of worms
Into the eggs of field-mice
So you can look real nice for the boys
And generation sex is me and you
And we should really all know better
It doesn’t really matter what you say
Becoming More Like Alfie
Once there was a time
when my mind lay on higher things
And once there was a time
I could find pretty words to sing
But now, well now I find
it saves time to say what you mean
I know it seems so unrefined
but it’s time to let off some steam
Oh come on!
Everybody knows that No means Yes
just like glasses come free on the N.H.S.
But the more I look through them the more I see
I’m becoming more like Alfie
Once there was a time
when a kind word could be enough
And once there was a time
I could blindfold myself with love
But not now - now I’m resigned
to the kind of life I had reserved
for other guys less smart than I
Y’know - the kind who will always end up with the girls
And besides
everybody knows that No means Yes
just like glasses come free on the N.H.S.
But the more I look through them the more I see
I’m becoming more like Alfie
Oh come on!
The Summerhouse
Do you remember
The way it used to be
June to September
In a cottage by the sea
Distant cousins, local kids
We climbed every tree together
And it never ever rained
Till we climbed back on the train
That would take us so far away
From the village and the bay
And the summerhouse
Where we found new games to play
Do you remember
Sunday lunch on the lawn
Daring escapes at midnight
And costumeless bathes at dawn.
You were only nine years old
And I was barely ten
It’s kind of weird to be back here again
Do you remember
The summerhouse…?
Your Daddy’s Car
We took your Daddy’s car
And drove it to the sea
We fooled around for hours
And then when we got tired and it got dark
We found a place to park
And we watched the sun set fire to the sea
Can you feel the sadness in our love?
It’s the only kind we’re worthy of
Can you feel the madness in our hearts
As the key turns and the engine starts?
We took your Daddy’s car
And drove it into town
We steamed into a bar
And we bought the biggest bottle of champagne
And driving through the rain we sang
‘God bless this car, and all who sail in her!’
We took your Daddy’s car
And wrapped it round a tree
We didn’t know what for
We didn’t feel like driving any more
It was so good we got bored
And we are driving from the day we are born
The Pop Singer’s Fear Of The Pollen Count
Are you ready?
OK let’s do it 1,2,3,4, Woo ah ha yeah
I fall for this season every time
When it’s hot and everybody smiles
I can’t help myself
I’m in love with the summertime
Even when I get hay-fever I find
I may sneeze but I don’t really mind
As long as I’m in love with the summertime
Laugh at the tears you’re crying
Smile while your head explodes
Y’ don’t have to take this lying down
So blow your nose baby
And just get your fingers clicking
To the rhythm and the rhyme
Otherwise you’ll just be kicking around
And that’s a crime
How can you talk that way on such a lovely day?
When sunshine comes your way it’s time to make some hay
I fall for this season every time
When it’s hot and everybody smiles
I can’t help myself
I’m in love with the summertime
Even when I get hay-fever I find
I may sneeze but I don’t really mind
As long as I’m in love with the summertime
Oh, stop your belly-aching
We all know what it’s like
There ain’t a pill I haven’t taken I guess
But that’s alright baby
‘Cause your Daddy’s car is waiting
To take us to the sea
She feels like celebrating life
And so should we
How can you talk that way on such a lovely day?
When sunshine comes your way it’s time to make some hay
I fall for this season every time
When it’s hot and everybody smiles
I can’t help myself
I’m in love with the summertime
Even when I get hay-fever I find
I may sneeze but I don’t really mind
As long as I’m in love with the summertime
Summertime!
The Frog Princess
I met a girl, she was a frog princess
I guess I ought to make it clear
That I saw nothing through her see-through dress
until she whispered in my ear
You don’t really love me and I don’t really mind
’cause I don’t love anybody, that stuff is just a waste of time
Your place or mine?”
I met a girl, she was a complete mess
I should’ve left her well alone, but oh no, not me
I had to see if underneath that dress
her heart was really made of stone
I met a girl, she was a frog princess
and yes I do regret it now
But how was I to know that just one kiss
could turn my frog into a cow?
And now I’m rid of her I must confess
to thinking ’bout what might have been
And I can visualize my frog princess
beneath a shining guillotine
You don’t really love me and baby that it alright
’cause I don’t love anybody,
I come and go through people’s love lives
Your place or mine?
Gin-Soaked Boy
I’m the darkness in the light
I’m the leftness in the right
I’m t he rightness in the wrong
I’m the shortness in the long
I’m the goodness in the bad
I’m the saneness in the mad
I’m the sadness in the joy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy, the gin-soaked boy
Ba ba ba ba de la da…
I’m the ghost in the machine
I’m the genius in the gene
I’m the beauty in the beast
I’m the sunset in the east
I’m the ruby in the dust
I’m the trust in the mistrust
I’m the Trojan horse in Troy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy, the gin-soaked boy
Ba ba ba ba de la da…
I’m the tiger’s empty cage
I’m the mystery’s final page
I’m the stranger’s lonely glance
I’m the hero’s only chance
I’m the undiscovered land
I’m the single grain of sand
I’m the Christmas morning toy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy, the gin-soaked boy
Ba ba ba ba de la da…
I’m the world you’ll never see
I’m the slave you’ll never free
I’m the truth you’ll never know
I’m the place you’ll never go
I’m the sound you’ll never hear
I’m the course you’ll never steer
I’m the will you’ll not destroy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy, yeah, the gin-soaked boy
Ba ba ba ba de la da…
I’m the half-truth in the lie
I’m the why not in the why
I’m the last role in the die
I’m the old school in the tie
I’m the sprirt in the sky
I’m the catcher in the rye
I’m the twinkle in her eye
I’m Jeff Goldblum in “The Fly”
Who am I?
Lucy
I travelled among unknown men
In lands beyond the sea;
Nor, England did I know till then
What love I bore to thee.
‘Tis past, that melancholy dream!
Nor will I quit thy shore
A second time; for I still seem
To love thee more and more.
Among thy mountains did I feel
The joy of my desire;
And she I cherished turned her wheel
Beside an English fire.
By mornings showed, by nights concealed
The bowers where Lucy played;
And thine too is the last green field
That Lucy’s eye surveyed.
She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
A Maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love:
A violet by a mossy stone
Half hidden from the eye
Fair as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky.
She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave and, oh
The difference to me
A slumber did my spirit seal;
I had no human fears.
She seemed a thing that could not feel
The touch of earthly eyes.
No motion has she now, no force;
She neither hears nor sees;
Rolled round in earth’s diurnal course,
With rocks, and stones, and trees.
Songs Of Love
Pale, pubescent beasts, roam through the streets
And coffee-shops, their prey gather in herds
Of stiff knee-length skirts, and white ankle-socks
But while they search for a mate, my type hibernate
In bedrooms above, composing their songs of love
Young, uniform minds, in uniform lines
And uniform ties, run round with trousers on fire
And signs of desire, they cannot disguise,
While I try to find words, as light as the birds
That circle above, to put in my songs of love
Fate doesn’t hang, on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends, on the tone of your voice
So sing while you have time, let the sun shine down from above
And fill you with songs of love
Fate doesn’t hang, on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends, on the tone of your voice
So let’s sing while we still can, while the sun hangs high up above
Wonderful songs of love, beautiful songs of love
In Pursuit of Happiness
Hey, I’m not the type
To say one thing and do another
And if it’s all right I’d kind
Of like to be your lover
‘Cos when you’re with me I can’t help but be
So desperately
Uncontrollably Happy!
And hey, I’m not the kind
To fall in love without good reason
And if that’s a crime
Then baby I’m committing high treason
‘Cos when you’re with me
I’m absolutely
And totally
Quite uncontrollably Happy!
And hey, I’m not so blind
That I can’t see where we’re all going
And it’s no fault of mine
If humankind reaps what it is sowing
Just as long as we are together
Forever
I’ll never be anything other than Happy!
Hey, don’t be suprised, if millions die in plague and murder
True happiness lies beyond your fries and happy burger
I’ve Been To A Marvellous Party
I must say it’s the most extraordinary experience not everybody I suppose it’s something to do with the sun
and all that but I wouldn’t understand myself really and I’m not sure its even legal
You know quite for no reason I’m here for the season and high as a kite
Living in error with Maud at Cap Ferrar which couldn’t be right
Everyone’s here and frightfully gay nobody cares what people say
Though the Riviera seems really much queerer than Rome at its height
On Wednesday night I went to a marvellous party
With Nunu and Nada and Nell
It was in the fresh air and we went as we were and we stayed as we were which was hell
Poor Grace started singing at midnight and she didn’t stop singing til four
We knew the excitement was bound to begin when Laura got blind on Dubonet and Gin
And scratched her veneer with a Cartier pin - I couldn’t have liked it more!
I couldn’t have liked it more…
I’ve been to a marvellous party. We played a wonderful game. Maureen disappeared and came back in a
beard and we all had to guess at her name. Cecil arrived wearing armour, some shells and a black feather boa.
Poor Millicent wore a surrealist comb made of bits of mosaic from St Peters in Rome but the weight was so great
that she had to go home - well I couldn’t have liked it more..
I’ve been to a marvellous party. I must say the fun was intense. We all had to do what the people we knew
might be doing 100 years hence. We talked about growing old gracefully and Elsie who’s 74 said a) it’s a
question of being sincere and b) if you’re supple you’ve got nothing to fear then she swung upside down from a
chandelier - and I couldn’t have liked it more..
It was the most fabulous excitement, I’ve never seen such a carry on obviously it couldn’t happen anywhere
else but on the Riviera it was most peculiar…
You know people’s behaviour away from Belgravia would make you aghast. So much variety watching society
scampering past… You know if you had any mind at all, Gibbons divine ‘Decline and Fall’ well it sounds pretty
flimsy no more than a whimsy by way of contrast on Wednesday last…
I went to a marvellous party we didn’t sit down til ten. Y’know young Bobby Carr did a stunt at the bar with a
lot of extraordinary men. And then Freda arrived with a turtle which shattered us all to the core. And then the
Duchess passed out at a quarter to three and suddenly Cyril cried ‘fiddle-de-de’ and he ripped off his trousers and
jumped in the sea - I couldn’t have liked it more..
I’ve been to a marvellous party - Elise made an entrance with May. You’d never have guessed from her
fisherman’s vest that her bust had been whittled away. Poor Lulu got fried on chianti and talked about esprit de
corps. Louise made a couple of passes at Gus and Freddy who hates any kind of a fuss did half the big apple
and twisted his truss - HA HA! I couldn’t have liked it more!
The Certainty Of Chance
A butterfly flies through the forest rain
And turns the wind to the hurricane
I know that it will happen
‘Cause I believe in the certainty of chance
A schoolboy yawns, sits back and hits return
While round the world computers crash and burn
I know that it will happen
‘Cause I believe in the certainty of chance
And I believe
I can see it all so clearly now
You must go and I must set you free
‘Cause only that will bring you back to me
I know that it will happen
I’m sure that it must happen
Oh I know that it’s gonna happen
Because I believe in the certainty of chance
Too Young To Die
Too young to die but too old to survive
I’ve spent too long trying to write this song
The tune is OK but the words are all wrong
Maybe it’s time for a change
I’ve lived a lie since the day I arrived
Building my dreams - grand romantic schemes
Now I’m twenty eight but I’m still in my teens
Maybe it’s time for a change
Now it’s time to say goodbye
To my suit, my shirt, my tie
My youth seems to have passed me by
And I’m too young to die
I will not weep for what we leave behind
I must break free from that part of me
That values the art over the humanity
I think it’s time for a change
I thought that I was doing fine
But now I’ve changed my mind
‘Coz now it’s time to say goodbye
To my suit, my shirt, my tie
My youth seems to have passed me by
And I’m too young to die
Maybe it’s time for a change
Tonight We Fly
Tonight we fly
Over the houses
The streets and the trees
Over the dogs down below
They’ll bark at our shadows
As we float by on the breeze
Tonight we fly
Over the chimney tops
Skylights and slates -
Looking into all your lives
And wondering why
Happiness is so hard to find
Over the doctor, over the soldier
Over the farmer, over the poacher
Over the preacher, over the gambler
Over the teacher, over the rambler
Over the lawyer, over the dancer
Over the voyeur,over the builder and the destroyer,
Over the hills and far away
Tonight we fly
Over the mountains
The beach and the sea
Over the friends that we’ve known
And those that we now know
And those who we’ve yet to meet
And when we die
Oh, will we be
That disappointed
Or sad
If heaven doesn’t exist
What will we have missed
This life is the best we’ve ever had